HIMYM: My new addiction!

I was so in love with F.R.I.E.N.D.S before and it was fast becoming an obsession. One of my friends suggested watching “How I Met Your Mother”. I watched one episode on TV and liked it instantly. How can I not? TV sitcoms provide me with everything I could hope for – bunch of people hanging at some nice place, laughter, love, friendship, sentiment and best of all: little or no worries at all! 

I love all the characters in this one, unlike in friends. I don’t like Monica. Whatever reasons. Anyway, in HIMYM, my best character so far is BARNEY! I simply love him. There’s a little bit of everyone of friends in him – 

Joey: womaniser, falls in love with Robin after Ted (Ross); 

Chandler: looks like him a little, scared of commitment, most of the jokes in the show will be his lines, after falling in love the most committed guy there ever was!; 

Phoebe: love for self! AWESOMENESS!!

Monica: “organised”(only a little bit though), a little eccentric; 

Rachel: a little selfish!; 

Ross: takes forever to talk to Robin about how he really feels.

This is like 1% of what Barney really is. More on him later.

On a completely different note: Ted in one of those episodes says ‘I want to get old. You don’t have to worry about “the plan”, because you have done the plan and you are already on the other side!’ I totally agree with that! ‘Maybe we’ll have to spend some time in jail. ....Then maybe I can read, finally write all those short stories I wanted to...’ Don’t remember the lines exactly, but this is pretty much the gist. I totally, totally am with him!! It’s nice to know that some of my weird, abnormal thoughts run through other people’s heads too and that some of these ideas were voiced in a sitcom! Ha ha!!

The thing about TV, movies, books or anything that helps you kill your time, is that you slowly start to “connect” with something or the other in all of those. Because some part of you always wants to escape reality and live in that dreamy, fun place.

Snapping back to reality.

Later!

Pigeons & Crows!

There are so many kinds of people. Right now I'm only focussing on two kinds: The crows and the pigeons.

I have so much free time these days. I spend most of it sitting around and thinking. The other day, I was sitting on the porch, having tea with mom and grandpa. My nephew was with us, playing and eating a biscuit and screaming so loudly, all at the same time. Well, you know how kids are! There were biscuit crumbs all over the porch. In less than 30 seconds, there were crows everywhere. And in another minute, the porch was clean. Clean! Three crows, one minute; not a big deal really. But the thing that was admirable about the scene was that there were three adults, one fully grown (pet) dog and a kid. But these crows still managed to find their way around. Not only did they clean up the place without a trace, they had almost scared the kid to give all his biscuits away, while everyone was watching! 

Upstairs, at my home, there is a corner which is almost desolate; people hardly go there and we only dump old stuff. So, this had become a very safe home for a few pigeons. I don’t their kinds, but there are greys, whites and one very pretty smoky black one. These very handsome, mini-flock of pigeons also happen to be really big scaredy cats. Whenever a person appears within ten feet radius, they take off – leaving their nest, food, baby pigeons too if any, and everything! They eat only when there is no one around. I am pretty sure they sleep with one eye open. I tried once or twice to feed them but I couldn’t cross that ten-feet security line. I never really liked them. They are a little dull; they never leave their nest; all they do is eat, clean themselves and sit around all day! (Yes, that is what I do these days, but I’m not a big fan of me right now either!!) Oh wait, they are good at one thing: breeding! The only things that breed faster than pigeons are rats, rabbits and Indians!! I don’t beg your pardon, it happens to be true! 

If you ask anyone ‘what do you like better – pigeons or crows?’ The answer mostly will be pigeons. Reasons are so apparent – pigeons are prettier, cleaner, far, far less annoying and peace loving! 

Suddenly when this crow incident happened, I felt a little bad for crows. OK, they are not pretty or have a nice voice, but they are the best survivors! They are active, intelligent, dexterous (they never miss a catch! Try and see.), very efficient scavengers, sometimes selfless (they never eat alone; they always call other crows when they find good meal) and like I said, they’d do anything to survive. They can live quite happily in deserts for god’s sake!! Whenever someone shoos away a crow, I can almost hear it saying “I don’t care that you don’t like me, because I live a long, happy life, LOSER!”

People, some people, are like this. The pigeon-type are content, peace loving, move in flocks, tidy, keep to themselves, and never get in your way. The crow-type are never satisfied to the fullest, ambitious, a little annoying, and always get in your way to ultimately win. Crow-people can get through any toughies unscratched – be it a completion, election, business, or even a written exam. The pigeons form the crowd. They are the ones that the crows rule. They are the ones that dream a lot, but are scared to take a step towards it. Because, for pigeons, a bold step is a new path and the new path could be risky and dangerous. Never so for a crow! Crows never sit around dreaming, they are big “doers”. No path is too risky for them. 

Quite often, if you read between the lines of a success story, you can almost always spot very nasty crow. Or that’s how I’d like to think. Because right now, I’m being a big, fat and lazy pigeon. So, I’m bitching about crows being nasty. I don’t want to be a crow, in spite of everything I just said. Maybe, a well-trained racer pigeon? Pigeons might not be successful, but they are quite happy too! And crows... Good for you! But just leave us pigeons alone! Hmph!!

What was my point? Nothing. 

Later.

Message in the Bottle

Been busy.

*Spoiler*

My last book was 'Message in the Bottle' by Nicholas Sparks. I have been really busy, so I couldn't read anything else. So, I settled down for some sweet romantic book. Because reading them is like watching a soap on TV. No need to put extra effort to read. Just sit back, relax and read. Things are always in great detail. Like the colour of the walls, the entire building plan of the beach house, how far the dresser is from the bed, everything. I don't think I'm exaggerating, I'm just being sarcastic. But my sarcasm is so fake. I don't want to admit that I liked this book. But I liked it. There you go. I said it. I liked this book. Why? ONLY because I was caught off guard. I totally forgot that someone always dies in Nicholas Sparks books. Mostly. By the time 'the someone' died I was shocked and saddened and there also might have been a few, very feeeww tears.

Anyway, the book was ok. Like all lovey-dovey stories, everything goes well; no real problems. The biggest problem will be something like phone call delayed for like twenty minutes. The twenty minutes would be stretched to forty pages.

But this book and the silly experience made me realise something. You tend to like a person more when the person dies. Let me put it in a less crude way - You never realise the value of something until it is gone. Also, you (me) will like a book better if someone important in that book dies. Hehe!

Lemony Snicket - II

I have finally finished the series “A Series of Unfortunate Events”

Like I have said in my earlier blog, only the first book would be the more enjoyable one because of the writing style, gentle humour, and a totally different perspective of the narrator, etc. But it is the same in all the thirteen books so it gets a little boring for a grown up to read the entire thing in one go. So from the second book onwards you tend to focus on the plot. These books are meant for kids, so the plots would be comparatively bland. Also, we are so used to reading books with happy endings so despite the author’s continuous reminders that this is a “series” of unfortunate events and happy ending is not nearly possible, we, I, still expect something good to happen to the Baudelaires. Ok I won’t give away the ending. The Beatrice’s part in the story was cute.

Not in the mood to write anymore.

The setting of the story, the twists, plots sometimes are ridiculous. But if you ignore the rubbish the story actually is very close to reality.

Mr. Darcy

“

...

"My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them—by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents."

"Your humility, Mr. Bingley," said Elizabeth, "must disarm reproof."

"Nothing is more deceitful," said Darcy, "than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."

"And which of the two do you call my little recent piece of modesty?"

"The indirect boast; for you are really proud of your defects in writing, because you consider them as proceeding from a rapidity of thought and carelessness of execution, which, if not estimable, you think at least highly interesting. The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance... "

This is one of my favourite speeches in Pride and Prejudice. I love the Mr.Darcy character. He is simply perfect! Other people in the book have accused him of being arrogant, Miss Lizzy included. I have never felt he was arrogant from the start of the book; proud maybe, but not arrogant. Not even in his introduction scene at that ball. I don’t want to start describing my love for this book and Mr. Darcy because that is not what I wanted to write about. There are more than enough opinions out there already.

There are a lot of people around us like that Mr. Bingley. Hell, I’m like him sometimes. We tend to take pride in certain things that are not particularly “laudable”. Like how Bingley talks of his way of writing here in the speech above. When people say things like that to me, taking pride in things that are definitely not something to be proud of, I so badly want to snap back at them! But, it’s not a nice thing and it is not worth the trouble I would be in later. A few real examples, from real people I know....

“I can NOT wake up before nine in the morning” What happened that day when you had an interview? You did not sleep the night before, I suppose, so you needn’t “wake up before nine”??

“I’m too lazy!!” Yeah you are. You should go see someone about it. It is really, really annoying. It is even more annoying when you say it as if you have won something! As if you are doing us all a favour being lazy!!

“I don’t get angry that often but when I do it’ll be a pandemonium!!” Do you even know what that word means? You get angry ten times everyday so I have been facing ten “pandemoniums” a day, everyday since I know you! Jerk!!

“I get mad when people drive slow...” “I...”

And sooo many other sentences that start with ‘I’ and are centred around ‘I’. This is one of the few things I so badly want to bitch about, but I dare not. Because, like I said before, it is not a nice thing to do and it would only make me feel bad later. Moreover, I'm one of them too! It is simply in the human nature to tend to be attracted that which is generally not good. Simply, we like being a little bad and we also like making fun of the good ones. And we are proud of it sometimes because we are a little afraid that someone might point it out to us. So we ourselves declare under the facade of "confidence" and get away with it.

So, done bitching, I'm done retrospecting. Now wishing - I just wish there are more Darcys and less Bingleys around! World would be so much simpler and life a lot easier..!!

I wish I was like Darcy...true to myself and more importantly, true to everyone else.

Story PartII

**Contd.**

He is trying to convince me? "No" I snapped back.

"Of course you are!" he replied with a mock sincerity etched on his face.

"No, I'm Not!" I told him, stressing every word. Urgh! Why is he smiling?

"What?" I asked. "Nothing" came back a prompt reply. Jerk! I don't have the energy for these games.

"I really do not know if I'm that easy to be manipulated but I think I can tell when a guy is being honest. Even if the guy is you, Mr. Smarthead! I know that you are never convinced easily, in spite of which I am not going to put extra effort in telling you that you are my best friend and you are too special to me! You are not just a friend to me and you know that!"

What has gotten into me? There was no call for me to say all this. Why did I have to tell all that? I did not wait to see his reaction or to listen to what he was saying. I almost ran out of there, leaving all my things behind. I didn't have my bike keys or the money to pay for the bus fare. I wanted to go away so far where I don't have to face him. I need to get out of the college at least. There was a taxi and I went home and locked myself up in my room. I told mom I wasn't feeling very well and I wanted to sleep.

Telling someone that they are special is nice, surely not a bad thing. But to me, for us, it was like admitting...admitting I don't know what! I did not realise I have been crying. Why am I crying? Oh, I know! It is possible that I have just ruined everything! I don't even know if he is being honest when he was saying all those nice, sweet things. Now, even I don't want to face him. Oh God! What have I done! I fell asleep sometime later.

It was dark when I woke up. Lying there on my bed I thought about how foolish I acted and how worried my mom must have been. Its silly and I almost laughed at myself. Why would he not talk to me? I just told him he was special to me, just like he told me; there's nothing wrong in that! Silly me! I went to the kitchen and mom started jabbering away. Somewhere along the chatter she told me that he had come home to drop off my stuff and that he inquired about me. See, gentleman!

The next day the gentleman did not come to my class. He must have been busy. He must have been busy for two whole weeks.

I did not make any extra effort to "build" our friendship other than the casual replies to his courteous 'Good morning! Have a nice day!!' messages. I did not want to seem desperate and he clearly is appreciating it. I have been extra cheerful for those two weeks. Particularly when I was around the people he was friends with, just so he'd know I was not melodramatic either. When someone asked me why "my friend" was not coming, I told them that I did not know, as casually as I could. Turns out I'm not that good at doing this. After a while I gave up and I had to let the disappointment seep in.

But something was definitely not casual about him. He seemed to have adjusted his timings because I never saw him in the usual places - canteen, parking lot, playground even! He was clearly avoiding seeing me. I did not want to admit it and told myself that he was indeed busy! After two weeks or so, he came to my class. He was walking towards my desk and it was like the past few days never happened. I couldn't help but smile at him. But he on the other hand was looking resolutely at something else, as if to avoid catching my eye. He came over and instead of taking his usual seat opposite mine, he went on to the seat next to me. Suddenly, I felt my face was hot. He did not come for me! The realisation, rejection were suddenly hitting hard. I wanted to make another dramatic exit but my body felt like lead. I could hardly move my fingers. It was not a silly mistake after all. I could faintly hear his voice, saying something about farewell party. It was not making any sense to me.

After that, I saw him in my class often. But never to see me; not once did he acknowledge my presence. He never talked, not even a 'Hi'; he passed on messages to me through someone else; he did not even look at me! I was invisible to him now and that hurt more than anything else. He was the one person whom I trusted and shared everything; and he confided in me his deepest secrets. We had just two more months of college. I wished every single day that the college would end faster so I wouldn't have to see him everyday and go through with the pain it's causing me.

There were exams and farewells and slam books during the last days and thankfully the days were too hectic for me to wallow. As the last day was nearing, I have decided after a lot of thought, to talk to him for one last time. After all, I might not see him ever again. However hard I tried, the thought that I might never see him again was killing me. I did not know how long it would take for me to get used to the fact that he is no more in my life. On the last day the air in the college was thick with emotion and excitement. Somehow the population seemed to have doubled and the classes, walks and everywhere were crowded. The day passed like a blur, too much activity. Even throughout the excitement I never stopped searching for him, asking anyone who knew him; but he was no where to be seen. By the end of the day, I have decided that he must have guessed my decision to talk to him. He knew me well I thought, a small consolation in the disaster. I sighed resignedly. I did not want to think more about it.

That evening my friends have planned for a party at Divya's home, just close friends. I was glad I was invited. I certainly did not want to be alone. I was the last to reach Divya's place. Everyone were celebrating, talking and making plans for the future. A little later Divya came over to me and asked me to go the terrace and told there were others there. I went not thinking why she had only told that to me.

When I reached the terrace, there was only one person present. The one person I wanted to be with more than anyone else. I was shocked, no doubt, to seem him. He was not smiling, but his face was serene. I did not move from where I was standing and nor did he. I don't know for how long we have been like that staring at each other, me in disbelief and he, well, I couldn't read his expression. He started walking towards me slowly. And I still couldn't move. I did not know if wanted to run towards him or away from there.

He came and stood near me. I could see his eyelashes. He took my hand gently and held it tight. There was already a lump in my throat and my brain was fuzzy. I couldn't breathe properly. All the feelings that I have been blocking out and denying were rushing back along with the pent up anger and frustration. And before I knew it there were tears rolling down my cheeks. He was still looking at me, now with a smile spreading slightly. He let go of my hand he was holding for a long moment and suddenly, he took me into his arms, as if explaining his brief absence in my life.

And then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, the three words I so longed to hear.

This time I knew he'd never let go. He never did!

Story Part I

This is about me and a guy, let's call him X. We were in the same college, different sections. But we were not friends until third year. Before that I have only heard about him, never talked. He was one of the popular ones of our college. He was smart, intelligent; he sings and is active in so many clubs/associations. I was the "invisible" kind. I always preferred low profile and I was happy that way. Also, I secretly had a crush on him. In our third year, however, there was a symposium and we both were on the organizing team. Me and him in particular were in charge of invitations and some of the speeches. So that was when we were introduced to each other for the first time.

I remember the first day he spoke to me. On the first day of our work it was hard for me to not notice that he was even better than what I've already heard of him. Naturally, he was doing all the work and I was standing along the sidelines watching. He tried to involve me too but I was too nervous. My close-to-panic state did not go unnoticed. He smiled lightly and started talking as if we were old friends, joking and laughing all the time. I eventually got comfortable and got back to work, this time with my involvement. That day I went back home feeling proud of myself. That night I got an sms from him 'No one can intimidate you unless you let them. Goodnight!' Such a gentleman! 'Goodnight' was all I could reply.

We have worked together for two months and the symposium was a success. How can it not be when you have someone so talented as a partner? But it had also meant that we wont get to work together as team now on. Everyone else was celebrating. I was the only one who was not participating. He came to me after a while and started introducing to some of classmates. Some of them were girls who were all fluttery around him. This bothered me a little but I have put on a convincing smile and survived it and the rest of the day.

After that I only saw him in canteen or at the parking lot. We smiled at each other courteously. But each time, I felt terrible after that. I missed him!

One day, he came to my class during lunch break. He came and sat on a bench in front of mine, facing me. I was busy at that time, there was a practical that afternoon and I was hurrying through the last minute revision.

"Hi" I said with a smile in my voice and a bit of impatience too.

He smiled back at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Nothing. Had to borrow something from Ajay. Did you see him?" Ajay was in my class and my friend too.

"Think he went home. His exam was in the morning." I told him.

"Oh OK! No problem! Good luck by the way!" he called after me as I was running into the lab. I was already late. It was not bad as I feared. Went home smiling remembering the unexpected visit. When I got home, my mobile was blinking. One unread message it said. It was from him.

'I knew Ajay left. Wanted to wish you for your exam. Miss you.' It felt like someone has tickled me in my stomach.

'Did my exam well. Thanks for coming. Maybe you're a good omen ;-)' I wanted to tell him that I missed him too but somehow did not want to admit it. Definitely not to him.

His visits became regular after that. Always during lunch. Everything was going on the usual - classes, practicals, canteen and hanging out at friends' places on weekends, with a small exception - he's included in almost all of those. Given my actual feelings towards him at the beginning, I always thought I was more 'serious' one about our friendship.

One day he was sitting in my class as usual. He turned to me suddenly and said "Did you know? You are my first friend here, in this college." This is hard to believe and I was starting to get defiant thinking 'He's either lying or flirting. Either way it isn't good!'. I tried searching his face but it had never looked that sincere.

"How come?" I asked trying to keep my face straight.

"What do you mean how come?" he asked promptly.

"I'm not your first friend here!" I blurted out. "I mean you are quite popular and we became friends only now! You had three years in this college before that! Are you telling me you did not talk to anyone before?"

"There were people around me all the time, yes. I always had someone to hang around with. I did talk to people before. I never shared."

I tried hard but I could not suppress the smugness in my smile. He smiled back. The familiar fluttering in my stomach came, with double the intensity. "I'm honoured!" I tried to sound casual. Why the hell was I blushing?

"Are you always convinced this easily?" he asked, looking a little amused.

**to be contd.**