Story PartII

**Contd.**

He is trying to convince me? "No" I snapped back.

"Of course you are!" he replied with a mock sincerity etched on his face.

"No, I'm Not!" I told him, stressing every word. Urgh! Why is he smiling?

"What?" I asked. "Nothing" came back a prompt reply. Jerk! I don't have the energy for these games.

"I really do not know if I'm that easy to be manipulated but I think I can tell when a guy is being honest. Even if the guy is you, Mr. Smarthead! I know that you are never convinced easily, in spite of which I am not going to put extra effort in telling you that you are my best friend and you are too special to me! You are not just a friend to me and you know that!"

What has gotten into me? There was no call for me to say all this. Why did I have to tell all that? I did not wait to see his reaction or to listen to what he was saying. I almost ran out of there, leaving all my things behind. I didn't have my bike keys or the money to pay for the bus fare. I wanted to go away so far where I don't have to face him. I need to get out of the college at least. There was a taxi and I went home and locked myself up in my room. I told mom I wasn't feeling very well and I wanted to sleep.

Telling someone that they are special is nice, surely not a bad thing. But to me, for us, it was like admitting...admitting I don't know what! I did not realise I have been crying. Why am I crying? Oh, I know! It is possible that I have just ruined everything! I don't even know if he is being honest when he was saying all those nice, sweet things. Now, even I don't want to face him. Oh God! What have I done! I fell asleep sometime later.

It was dark when I woke up. Lying there on my bed I thought about how foolish I acted and how worried my mom must have been. Its silly and I almost laughed at myself. Why would he not talk to me? I just told him he was special to me, just like he told me; there's nothing wrong in that! Silly me! I went to the kitchen and mom started jabbering away. Somewhere along the chatter she told me that he had come home to drop off my stuff and that he inquired about me. See, gentleman!

The next day the gentleman did not come to my class. He must have been busy. He must have been busy for two whole weeks.

I did not make any extra effort to "build" our friendship other than the casual replies to his courteous 'Good morning! Have a nice day!!' messages. I did not want to seem desperate and he clearly is appreciating it. I have been extra cheerful for those two weeks. Particularly when I was around the people he was friends with, just so he'd know I was not melodramatic either. When someone asked me why "my friend" was not coming, I told them that I did not know, as casually as I could. Turns out I'm not that good at doing this. After a while I gave up and I had to let the disappointment seep in.

But something was definitely not casual about him. He seemed to have adjusted his timings because I never saw him in the usual places - canteen, parking lot, playground even! He was clearly avoiding seeing me. I did not want to admit it and told myself that he was indeed busy! After two weeks or so, he came to my class. He was walking towards my desk and it was like the past few days never happened. I couldn't help but smile at him. But he on the other hand was looking resolutely at something else, as if to avoid catching my eye. He came over and instead of taking his usual seat opposite mine, he went on to the seat next to me. Suddenly, I felt my face was hot. He did not come for me! The realisation, rejection were suddenly hitting hard. I wanted to make another dramatic exit but my body felt like lead. I could hardly move my fingers. It was not a silly mistake after all. I could faintly hear his voice, saying something about farewell party. It was not making any sense to me.

After that, I saw him in my class often. But never to see me; not once did he acknowledge my presence. He never talked, not even a 'Hi'; he passed on messages to me through someone else; he did not even look at me! I was invisible to him now and that hurt more than anything else. He was the one person whom I trusted and shared everything; and he confided in me his deepest secrets. We had just two more months of college. I wished every single day that the college would end faster so I wouldn't have to see him everyday and go through with the pain it's causing me.

There were exams and farewells and slam books during the last days and thankfully the days were too hectic for me to wallow. As the last day was nearing, I have decided after a lot of thought, to talk to him for one last time. After all, I might not see him ever again. However hard I tried, the thought that I might never see him again was killing me. I did not know how long it would take for me to get used to the fact that he is no more in my life. On the last day the air in the college was thick with emotion and excitement. Somehow the population seemed to have doubled and the classes, walks and everywhere were crowded. The day passed like a blur, too much activity. Even throughout the excitement I never stopped searching for him, asking anyone who knew him; but he was no where to be seen. By the end of the day, I have decided that he must have guessed my decision to talk to him. He knew me well I thought, a small consolation in the disaster. I sighed resignedly. I did not want to think more about it.

That evening my friends have planned for a party at Divya's home, just close friends. I was glad I was invited. I certainly did not want to be alone. I was the last to reach Divya's place. Everyone were celebrating, talking and making plans for the future. A little later Divya came over to me and asked me to go the terrace and told there were others there. I went not thinking why she had only told that to me.

When I reached the terrace, there was only one person present. The one person I wanted to be with more than anyone else. I was shocked, no doubt, to seem him. He was not smiling, but his face was serene. I did not move from where I was standing and nor did he. I don't know for how long we have been like that staring at each other, me in disbelief and he, well, I couldn't read his expression. He started walking towards me slowly. And I still couldn't move. I did not know if wanted to run towards him or away from there.

He came and stood near me. I could see his eyelashes. He took my hand gently and held it tight. There was already a lump in my throat and my brain was fuzzy. I couldn't breathe properly. All the feelings that I have been blocking out and denying were rushing back along with the pent up anger and frustration. And before I knew it there were tears rolling down my cheeks. He was still looking at me, now with a smile spreading slightly. He let go of my hand he was holding for a long moment and suddenly, he took me into his arms, as if explaining his brief absence in my life.

And then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, the three words I so longed to hear.

This time I knew he'd never let go. He never did!