Sad little life!

It is always bad thing to dig the past.

I have ALWAYS made it a point that I don't dwell for too long on anything. Happy or sad things, or even the boring mundane stuff that happens everyday. If I'm careful about anything, most definitely it is this. I don't linger for too long on memories. This has sort of impaired the memory system of my brain that I don't usually remember what I did or had YESTERDAY!

Memories, they say, are beautiful. And people agree on that more that often. So am I the only one who is always afraid to look back?
When people ask me (usually when we nothing to talk about) "What is your happiest/saddest moment?", I have nothing ready to reply. I normally make something up. I simply cannot bring myself to remember any of the said happy/sad moments!

Today, however, I don't know what got into me. I started going through old photos again, checking old conversations and mails. And to my utter disbelief and horror, my memory is not at all bad! I remember so many things. In vivid detail! I even remember what my sixth class friend's handwriting looks like! I remember all the good times, the bad ones, the terrifying moments and everything. And right now, I feel so....disturbed! I can't think properly. I can't look at some of those mails without choking up. I can't bloody talk to anyone even! Oh, I hate this!! One moment I'm happy to have known so many wonderful people and the next moment I'm hating myself for hurting most of them.

Anyway, this will pass. Hopefully.



And I have been reading a lot too. But somehow I don't want to talk about them.